Thursday, March 31, 2005

Getting Ahead Without Being A Head

People who think they have authority peddle paygrades, job titles, and speakerphones. People who know they have authority traffic in one thing, and one thing only: influence. If you have influence over other people, you don't need a fancy job title or a speakerphone to exercise your will. On the other hand, if you don't have influence over other people, those trappings won't help you, except at a superficial level.

This was always true, but especially so now, in this knowledge-based economy in which we live and work.

It reminds me of something the wonderful Dr. Susan Langlitz said once in a leadership workshop she led: Who decides which people become the leaders in an organization? Not the CEO. Not the board of directors. The followers do. By the virtue of their following, they choose the leaders in an organization.

Job titles and perks do not give you influence. It's the other way around.

How do you influence people? There are lots of skills and techniques to use, and your local library or bookstore can help you there. Broadly speaking, I think successful influence hinges on understanding people and what makes them tick. That instinct, which we all have to some degree, tells us how to relate to each person with whom we wish to connect. People perceive and organize their worlds differently, and they have different styles of operating. The key is to find the common ground between the two of you and to start there.

To use a less flattering analogy, it's like a game of cards. Your winnings depend on you showing the right cards to the right people at the right time. If someone likes people with sympathy cards, show them your sympathy card. If someone really grooves with people who hold intelligence cards, show off your intellect.

For example, there's a mid-level executive in my organization that is very knowledgable, and just as intolerant of incompetence in others. The level of attention he will give you is proportional to how much of an idiot he thinks you are. The less he thinks of you, the less he'll do for you. I happen to have a good working relationship with this man, not because I'm terribly competent (I don't think I would ever measure up to his standards if scrutinized), but because I understand what motivates him to be helpful toward me. I don't share my worries about fatherhood, or ask him if he saw this cool movie I just saw. I relate to him with all the focused competence I can muster, and we get along fine.

Then there's another, higher, executive that I cross paths with occasionally. He's a very upbeat, team-spirit kind of guy. So when I'm with him, I find that upbeat, team-spirit part of me and, hey, whaddya know, we click!

On the other extreme is another executive who just doesn't want to be bothered. So for right now, I don't bother him. While this is not a satisfying relationship for me, and I know that it won't work indefinitely, I also know that people who don't like to be bothered also don't enjoy much influence with others, so it hasn't gotten in my way yet.

You're not being unethical in tailoring your response to a person's particular frequency. The truth is that you are both sympathetic and intelligent, proactive and patient. If a person wants to communicate at a given frequency, meet them there at that same frequency. As the poet Rumi said, "Out beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a field. I'll meet you there." You're not being untrue by emphasizing one mood or style over another, unless you are actually lying to the person, which is something else entirely, and not what I'm talking about here.

Sometimes you get your cards confused and show the wrong one, which can backfire. Or you get emotionally attached to a certain card (e.g., indignance, righteousness, anger), and you wave it around even though doing so is not in your long-term interest. That's ok, you're human. You have feelings too. But except for some fortunate coincidences, you'll lose those hands.

The people that scare me the most are the people who don't show any of their cards, so I don't know what frequency they're operating on. In these cases I have to press ahead with nothing but my own integrity to guide me, which is obviously sufficient in any case. But even those people will reveal themselves in time. They're at the table; they have to play a card eventually.

The point I want to make is this. This business about the value of influence over job titles is good news for those of us who want to make a difference but don't wear the formal clothes of authority. Influence is available to anyone, and when it is exercised with grace and integrity, you can get what you want regardless.

Best of all, the trappings will eventually catch up to your well-cultivated influence. And when an influential person is vested with formal authority, the results can be spectacular.

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